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Job Old Testament Uncategorized

Questioning Why

Job 4:

 Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm:

“Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.

“Would you discredit my justice?
Would you condemn me to justify yourself?
Do you have an arm like God’s,
and can your voice thunder like his?
10 Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,
and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.
11 Unleash the fury of your wrath,
look at all who are proud and bring them low,
12 look at all who are proud and humble them,
crush the wicked where they stand.
13 Bury them all in the dust together;
shroud their faces in the grave.
14 Then I myself will admit to you
that your own right hand can save you.

When my good friend called me and let me know that one of my minister’s son was killed in an auto accident, I begin questioning God.  I remembered my Hannah’s heart and how much I had longed for a child.  I knew what great parents they were and what a good son they were raising.  My heart was broken.  I questioned God and questioned God about why.  After a couple of weeks, I realized that I had not picked up my 365 day Bible to read because I was frustrated with God.  It just did not make sense.  How could this be the right thing?  Christian radio was playing the song “HELD” by Natalie Grant.  Every time I heard that song, my heart broke for my minister.  One day, as I was praying, I felt a sensation like I was falling off of a sky scraper — like I was falling really, really fast.  Yet instead of falling, I was rising above the trees, above the buildings, above the moon, above the planets, above many universes, through space at an incredibly fast speed.  My mind could not comprehend what I was seeing, and I felt nauseous and dizzy.  In that instance, I believe I touched God.  That brief experience left me feeling weak, tired, spinning, nauseous, like vertigo.  I realized that what God understands is so much more that what he could communicate to me.  When he tried to give me knowledge — even for less than a second — my physical body was unable to handle the sheer volume of what God knows.  The last part of this lesson came this week — at all places, the post office.  A woman behind me in line said out of the blue, “You know God has to use the physical in this world to speak to us because we can only comprehend the physical not the spiritual realm where He is.”  That was the last piece of the puzzle for me.  God can not communicate to me why bad things happen.  Not because he doesn’t want to tell me, but because my puny mind and body become sick when I receive only a slight brush with Him.  His incredible knowledge and wisdom are far greater than a mortal body can receive.

Dear God, we worship who you are and your infinite power.  We love you so much! Amen.

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