We recently purged 13 crates of books. Everyone agreed to sell the books, and we worked on them over a few months. Finally, we loaded them into our van and took them to the store. It was the first time that I had seen the collection in its entirety.
As we begin to unload the books, I saw something that I hadn’t seen when filling the individual crates. There were infertility books, pregnancy books, baby books, toddler books, children’s books, and young adult books. It reminded me of my story, and it did not begin here.
Years ago, God promised me a blond-haired boy. I saw him in dreams from my late teenage years. Later, he revealed that we would have three children with one from tragedy (miscarriage). This vision sustained me during the years when I sought God like Hannah asking him to fulfill what He promised me.
Often in my life, my senses do not align with God’s promises, and there were a few years of this. “Helpful” friends and family suggested that we give up. They offered a number of solutions, but God reminded me of what happened when Sarah tried to shortcut His promises. We worked with a Christian doctor and took the advice of an infertility Bible study. When we reached a specific dollar amount in the year, we would stop. We both prayed for that amount, and we independently chose the exact same amount of money. The last of the money was used to see a specialist. The doctor wanted to do one more procedure, but I told him that we could not because the limit we set was mostly spent. He offered a $25 option, and we took it. He told us not to worry because there was a less than 10% chance that I would be pregnant this cycle.
My daughter just turned 19. We chose not to find the sex of the baby when I was pregnant with her because I needed to believe that this pregnancy would result in the blond-haired boy that I had seen in my dreams. You can imagine my surprise when they said that I had a girl! It would be three years later before I met my blond-haired boy which completed both prophecies that God had given me.
Believe what God has promised you even when your senses tell you that it isn’t real.
So, here I was looking at a pile of discarded books that described our journey. Things are tough right now. God promised me a journey to health. Since then, there has been a worldwide pandemic, I have had Covid, and I’ve been battling a vaccine side-effect for about 7 weeks. You can read my last post about Moses asking God if this looks like rescue, and I have asked that a million times lately. But, like Moses, I have forgotten the journey that came before. He had been rescued from a river by a princess when he should have been killed, and he experienced God in a burning bush.
Where you are today is not where you are headed; perhaps, more importantly, it is good to remember that it is also not where you have been. The journey didn’t start today. God has shown Himself faithful, and He will again.